This question was posed on Twitter by Mr. Jonathan Sullivan:

So how can #Catholic couples make manifest the joy of the Cross in marriage?

Let me start by saying this is not going to be any sort of lofty theological post about marriage, but more of a common sense post about how to be joyful in your marriage.

1. The Sacraments. Frequent the sacraments of Confession and Communion.

• The time between confessions should not be more than a month and make it a family affair. The whole family (those who have made their first confession that is) lines up to go to confession on say the first Saturday of the month. Our family goes every two to four weeks. We also stick around for the Vigil Mass afterward because of the distance our parish is from our house. Sometimes we go to dinner after, as a family treat.
• As for Communion, that should be as often as possible. Daily Mass? Great! A few times a week, great! Weekly? Required. While the reception of Holy Communion is not required weekly, if you are in a state of grace there’s no reason to not receive. However, the attendance of Mass on each and every Sunday is required. (Of course there are reasons you can be excused, but being on vacation is not one of them.)

 

2. Just be joyful. No it’s not always easy and there are sometimes circumstances that really do not allow for joy to be readily lived, however, we should to strive to do our best. Yes there are times when we are disappointed by our spouses, but those are times we should be offering prayers up for them and not walking around with pouty faces.

3. I heard this one before I was married and it is simple: Never complain about your husband to your friends and family. Even simple things like “he doesn’t put his socks in the hamper” can lead to cracks in the happiness of your marriage. If there are things that you cannot resolve together, seek the counsel of your pastor or a priest you trust, avoid going to your friends or family, as they have long memories and will remember things long past the time you two have forgotten.

My job as Joshua’s wife is to work to get him to heaven and his job is to get me to heaven.  Marriage is not easy, that’s why we need the grace from the sacrament to help us live the married vocation and why we need the help of the Church to lead us in that vocation.

 

Today we had a Eucharistic procession after Mass and it was beautiful, just beautiful.

Here is a picture taken by one of our fellow parishioners and shared on Facebook:

 

Over the weekend, we were blessed to be able to attend the Ordination to the Order of Deacons of our good friend, Rev. Mr. Stephen Smith. We’ve known him since our time in Marion, Ohio and he has become a good friend to us. We had a great weekend beginning with the ordination at the cathedral in Columbus and ending with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass where we got to hear him preach for the first time.

 

 

 

This picture was taken after Mass. I’m pretty sure Scholastica was still sleeping in Joshua’s arms, so she didn’t make the picture. I am glad I captured the banner in the background as well and as I said elsewhere: “I thought it was pretty awesome of Fr. Bob Penhallurick and the Parish of St. Brendan’s to make up those banners for the ordination. Not only does it help to support seminarians on their journey to ordination, but it also helps to encourage other discerning a vocation to religious life or priesthood. (Plus, what’s a sacrament without a banner? ;))” 

I had the mis-fortune of overhearing gossip this evening, prior to the beginning of the vigil Mass. It was the sort of gossip that was so stupid and really didn’t need to be said, let alone in the church, mere feet from our Lord in the Tabernacle, and just crushed the peace I had in my heart.

Therefore, not only must one not make an attempt on the life of others, but one must not even pour on him the poison of anger and hit him with slander, nor speak ill of him. And here we arrive at gossip. Gossip can also kill, because it kills the reputation of the person. – Pope Francis

I spent the remainder of the time prior to Mass, trying to process what I had heard, trying to pray those words out of my head, trying to not get upset because the person had moved on but was still talking and causing a disruption to the quiet in the church.

Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

– of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

– of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;²⁷⁹

– of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them. CCC 2477

As I sat there, looking at our Lord on the Cross, talking with Him, I saw the ugliness that is gossip, the blackness that it causes not just in our souls, but in the souls of others.

The eighth commandment forbids misrepresenting the truth in our relations with others. This moral prescription flows from the vocation of the holy people to bear witness to their God who is the truth and wills the truth. Offenses against the truth express by word or deed a refusal to commit oneself to moral uprightness: they are fundamental infidelities to God and, in this sense, they undermine the foundations of the covenant. – CCC 2464

Our Holy Father, Francis, has spoken against gossip almost since the beginning of his pontificate. We should listen to him, listen to how an unkind word can hurt. Gossip hurts, regardless of how little it is, how innocent one thinks it may be, gossip destroys.

 

I love the second Sunday after Easter, also known as the Feast of Divine Mercy. Saint John Paul II gave us this beautiful feast (through Saint Faustina from Jesus, of course) in 2000, just a few months before I found my way back Home. When I was Confirmed in 2003, I chose the name Maria Faustina after the beautiful apostle of Divine Mercy. So we always do this feast day up pretty big anyway, but this year we even more reason to celebrate! 

 

This kid’s patron was named a SAINT! Karol is named after Saint John Paul II (using his birth name) in honor of the great man who taught me (us) so much about life. Through the Theology of the Body, I learned to love (not just accept) the teachings of Holy Mother Church on sexuality. Through his gentle leadership, I saw a great witness on life. Through his death, I learned how to live and how to die with dignity. It seems obvious that my son would be named after such great a man.

 

To not leave out the second pope being canonized, I found this book among my things and while flipping through, looking to see if there were pictures, I found this prayer card. I told Joshua when I die, this prayer is to be used on the back of any prayer cards made up for me. Nothing fluffy, nothing poetic, just a plea to pray for my soul and the souls in purgatory!

 

 

It think that turned out better than I thought it would! We hung the bunting in the living room as well. And though flowers, aren’t they lovely? (With my camera-phone shot, it doesn’t do them justice, they are beautiful.)

 

 

Having a son named after a former holy father, you get a lot of pope stuff. Karol’s godmother gave him the picture and and statue at the far end of the table. A (now priest) friend of Joshua’s took the middle picture of the (now) great saint. (Quick side story, the “other side” of that picture was posted on Facebook and Twitter this weekend, it was pretty cool to see it from the Holy Father’s perspective.) Karol’s godfather sent him the statue of the holy father around the time of the beatification in 2011.

 

 

Of course we had some good food and friends over to enjoy it with us. We also made two Italian Easter Pies as a nod to Saint John XXIII. 

What’s a party without dessert? I also made the Polish Cream Cake that is supposed to have been a favorite of Saint John Paul II, it was pretty good, if I do say so myself.

 

The best part of the party was when we gathered together to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet during the Hour of Mercy.

I cannot let a note of the day end without mentioning the homily at Mass. We had a visiting priest as our pastor was out of town, and our visiting priest knocked it out of the park. He mentioned the Feast, he mentioned Saint Faustina, he mentioned the two pope saints, he mentioned confession, he mentioned the deepness of God’s mercy. 

He also discussed why we have a hard time understanding the depths of God’s mercy for us. It is because we have such a hard time forgiving. We like to hold on to things, hurts, anger for a long time and don’t forgive people or don’t forgive ourselves. God is not like that. We confess our offences and God forgets them, they are gone!

I came away from the homily fed, full of hope and joy and with a mission. To let go of the things I won’t forgive myself for and to really, really, truly forgiving those who have “trespassed” against me.

Saint John XXIII, pray for us.
Saint John Paul II, pray for us.
Saint Maria Faustina of the Most Blessed Sacrament, pray for us.

 

 

 

 

Over the weekend we went to Jacksonville for their Eucharistic Congress and had a great time. I will admit I was cranky when we hit the road and had to work hard to not snap at kids and Joshua. I could feel the devil attacking me, trying to get me to destroy the early morning peace. I also get this way when facing unknown situations and crowds. I worked hard and managed to only make a few snips at my family. 

When we arrived in Jax, our GPS sent us the wrong way twice (that didn’t do much for my nerves) and we finally arrived. The parking attended was badgering me to move when I was trying to get Benedict out of the van, and I snapped at the guy. Calm down, dude. Then we locked our keys in the van. I knew then that it was going to be a great conference and it was.

If you live anywhere near Jacksonville, Florida make an effort to go next year. We drove over two hours to go and it was totally worth it. God willing we will go next year as well. The morning started with a procession of all the parishes in the diocese followed by a Keynote address by Cardinal DiNardo. He was outstanding. I “live” tweeted it and I’m glad I did because now I can look back and read the parts that really stuck out to me.  He said lots of great things, but the part that stuck out the most was when he said the Liturgy in Heaven will be perfect. No more saying “What was up with the music?” or “Why did the deacon do that?”. He had on more example, but it was speaking right to me because most Sundays, I’m walking out of Mass thinking that. 

Mass was celebrated after the address then we had lunch. We packed our own but there was a downpour for about two hours and we were too far from the van to even attempt a run to eat (you couldn’t bring food into the convention center). We went with a purchased lunch. Note for next year: Bring an umbrella and get there earlier to park closer.

After lunch we dropped the older three off at the “Children’s Track” and Benedict off at the childcare room. This was really a great treat for the parents, it really gave us the chance to hear the talks, visit the vendors, and talk with people we knew without having to keep eyes on the kids.

The afternoon talks were wonderful as well. What a blessing we have with the Eucharist! What a blessing we have to be Catholic!

When we picked the kids up from their area, we got to hear what a great time they had! “Mama, a man came in and sang ‘Lord, I Need You!’, I sang along quietly!” and “The bishop came to talk to us!” and “They brought Jesus to us and we knelt and prayed!” Benedict didn’t have much to report because he slept most of the time.

When the Congress was over, we went to the house of some friends we had met last year at the ordination of Fr. John Paul in Birmingham. It’s always great to get to know better fellow Catholics who are very like minded (and grind their own wheat;)). We went to Mass with them in the morning at the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception in Downtown Jax. Just beautiful! 

We headed back to their house for brunch, our kids played, and we went to the backyard and checked out the bees. Oh, yeah, I’m definitely now thinking about keeping bees. Joshua can take care of them though ;). Then we packed up and hit the beach. It was Scholastica’s first time at the beach (on her BAPTISM DAY!) and she slept though most of it. The kids all played in the somewhat cold water and I stood in it, letting the waves soak the bottom of my skirt.

While standing on the beach talking, I noticed a group of men walking down the beach, one older man on the arms of two younger men and another man walking just off to the side holding a phone. When they got closer, I saw the older man was holding a rosary and the younger man was reading the prayers off his phone. What a beautiful site to see.

We then decided it was time to hit the road and head back home. First we had dinner at Chipotle, then stopped for a milkshake (it was Laetare Sunday and Scholastica’s baptism day after all, then home.

Thanks for the great weekend, Jacksonville, we’ll be back!

 

Nine years ago this week, we found out that I had miscarried our first baby. I wasn’t very far along and I didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl, but I was certain I was expecting a girl, so we named her Gianna Marie, in honor of the great St. Gianna and for Our Lady.

We were blessed to have her with us, even if for a few short weeks. Our kids know about the little baby who went to God and talk of her often. Karol is at the age when he wonders what life would be like with her here, but he knows it would be very different because he wouldn’t be here.

We celebrate her life twice a year, around the date I miscarried and again in November, on what would have been her due date. Sometimes I make a cake, sometimes we have ice cream sundaes, this weekend we did cookies, big fat cookies, scooped out with an ice cream scoop sized cookies, because really, she is a big deal.

Our goal as parents is to get our children to heaven, and while it was hard to lose a child (and it is still hard, I cry whenever I think of her), ultimately, she is in heaven, she’s with God, our job with her is complete.